Oh yes, the Oscars. I feel like saying something about them. The show itself is less than 24 hours away. And, needless to say, I’ll be there with the usual bells on. I’m feeling pretty wary about the broadcast, though. Word is show organizer Adam Shankman is hell-bent on emphasizing comedy, turning the event into some sort of late night talk show meets The Surreal Life. I guess if we must be force-fed comedy, then co-hosts Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin are as equipped as anybody to make it reasonably palatable. I actually thought host Ricky Gervais did a pretty good job avoiding the usual pot-holes at the Golden Globes. So if the Baldwin-Martin combo comes anywhere near his level, I’ll consider it a success. Shankman seems determined to get winners on and off stage as rapidly as possible with a minimum of fuss. But isn’t that fuss exactly what we die-hard Oscar watchers love most? Why not just position the winners at starting blocks, shoot a pistol in the air, then make them holler out their acceptance speeches as they run the 100 yard dash? I believe Shankman and company have also put the kibosh on the traditional performance of the five nominated songs? WTF? Granted the songs are no great shakes. Sue me, but I think that T-Bone Burnett thing from “Crazy Heart” is pretty flipping meh.The one I liked best this year was that strange song mind-blowingly performed by some chick in a 60’s nightclub in “An Education”. But it didn’t make the cut - just so Disney's "Princess and the Frog’ could double-dip. It seems Shankman will, though, be finding time to infest the proceedings with a bevy of his favourite hip hoppers and B-boys from “So You Think You Can Dance.” Get ready for some serious glassing over of the eyes from all those in the auditorium over 60. And, oh yeah, the latest lifetime achievement awards were quietly passed out in some back room a couple of months ago. So don’t expect to see this year’s winner Lauren Bacall anywhere near a spotlight tomorrow. Will they dispense with the traditional necrology too? On the theory that nothing much happened artistically before Stephenie Meyer wrote “Twilight”?